1
00:00:02,132 --> 00:00:04,134
What else?
This is impossible!
2
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,484
No,
nothing is impossible.
3
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:07,746
Now, come on.
Keep guessing.
4
00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:09,270
All the vowels
are in the dump.
5
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:11,141
What word has two X's
and no vowels?
6
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:12,664
Did Grimes
have another kid?
7
00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:15,015
Uh-oh! Even Principal Coleman
is stumped.
8
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,712
All right, let's get
those guesses in, you guys.
9
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,192
Nah, I got this.
"R"!
10
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:19,193
Nope.
11
00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:22,979
So I picked a word,
12
00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:24,894
but then a student sneezed
on another student.
13
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:27,505
By the time we cleaned that up,
I'd forgotten the word.
14
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,985
So I'm just stalling.
15
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,639
But we've only got about
10 minutes till lunch,
16
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:32,467
so we should be fine.
17
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:33,816
"Q"!
Nope.
18
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:36,079
"L"!
No.
19
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,820
"T"! 11!
20
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,648
Star! Semicolon!
21
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:40,823
Semicolon, or colon?
22
00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,129
Semicolon.
No.
23
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,536
♪ Dun-du-du-duuun ♪
24
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,886
PECSA weekend!
Everybody make some noise!
25
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,498
PECSA's!
26
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,890
The annual Pennsylvania
Educational Conference
27
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,196
for the Southeast Area.
28
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,372
Held in
Allentown, P.A.
29
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,373
Ever heard of it?
30
00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:10,940
Oh, Allentown, P.A.?
31
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,464
You mean the education
destination of Eastern P.A.,
32
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,771
where teachers come together
to swap ideas and knowledge
33
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:18,078
that will help them
grow into the greatest
educators of all time?
34
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,428
Uh, yeah,
that Allentown!
35
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:21,907
Ooh!
36
00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,387
I hear the keynote speech
is gonna be
37
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,607
about individualized
educational plans.
38
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:27,043
Can you stand it?
Oh!
39
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:28,914
The only keynote I plan
on listening to
40
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:32,744
is the sweet, sweet hum
of the indoor pool filter.
41
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:35,095
Yeah, I'll know I nailed
this conference if it takes me
42
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,314
a week to get the chlorine
smell out of my hair.
43
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,795
Hold up.
Absolute gasp.
44
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,753
Yeah, you guys aren't going
to the keynote speech?
45
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:44,582
Don't you two ever get tired
of being surprised
46
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,280
by people's
opposing interests?
47
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,021
Yeah, this conference
is for rookie teachers.
48
00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:50,501
We've been going
since you guys
49
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,155
had to ask permission
to cross the street.
50
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,505
Joke's on you,
I've been crossing the street
51
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:55,985
by myself
since I was three.
52
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:01,295
Again, I'm sorry,
53
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,297
and again I say this was
the only weekend
54
00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:04,602
that Amber
could get a sitter.
55
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:05,821
You are going to be
missing out on
56
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:07,214
so much
professional development,
57
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,303
and not to mention
continental breakfast.
58
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:12,523
For what, huh? So that you can
relax in a heart-shaped hot tub
59
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:15,091
watching the moon dance
off of Amber's eyes
60
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:16,919
as you whisper
sweet everythings?
61
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:18,094
Real fun, dude.
62
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:20,140
Yeah, your loss, bro.
63
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,664
I'm taking Amber to the Poconos
this weekend.
64
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:25,057
Need to make up for that LEGO
Valentine's Day gift debacle.
65
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:26,842
She was less than happy.
66
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:28,626
And now Janine and Jacob
are less than happy
67
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,367
that I'm missing
PECSA weekend.
68
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:33,849
So what's cool is that no matter
what I do, no one's happy.
69
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,504
Hey!
Hey.
70
00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:39,202
Ooh. The weekend couldn't get
here fast enough.
71
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:41,509
Work was a lot this week.
72
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,075
Very excited
for a breather.
73
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,468
I can't wait to show you
what I have planned.
74
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:47,123
We have snowshoeing,
a coal jewelry workshop,
75
00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,820
and tree-ventures
just to start.
76
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:51,345
I thought we were gonna be,
like, relaxing-- in a hot tub.
77
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,042
We are, after the firewood
harvesting forum.
78
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:55,784
Seems like you have
a lot planned.
79
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,873
That's the best way to relax--
on a strict schedule.
80
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,483
Okay.
Oh, boy. Okay.
81
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:02,269
So, um, I don't think
we're on the same page... again.
82
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,532
Well, I'm on page nine.
- Where you at?
- Gregory, put the book away.
83
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:05,837
It's not really a book,
but okay.
84
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,056
I don't wanna do
any of this.
85
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,753
- What do you want to do?
- Nothing.
86
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,233
I wanna do nothing.
87
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,323
Okay.
I hear you.
88
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,586
I think I can schedule in some
nothing time
89
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:16,848
after the snow hike.
90
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,504
We need to talk.
91
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:21,636
Damn.
92
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,389
Yeah, it's very sturdy.
93
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,914
Oh, my God.
They have e-writing books.
94
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:41,395
Jacob, Jacob, Jacob,
PECSA weekend!
95
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,048
Ah!
It's finally happening!
96
00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:45,050
Oh!
Sorry if we're jittery.
97
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,314
We have been shotgunning
kombucha since Conshohocken.
98
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,229
- Yeah.
- Okay, well, act like
you've been here before.
99
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,578
Because you have.
100
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,275
Woo, man, I wish I had
a Time-Turner,
101
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,582
because like Aerosmith,
I don't wanna miss a thang.
102
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,975
Although I might need to miss
this big party later.
103
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:58,673
Oh, you're not missing
PECSA-Geddon.
104
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,196
Who's gonna watch
our purses?
105
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,720
The party is the one thang
you don't wanna miss.
106
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,940
But I have to find time to
see the Living Classroom,
107
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,550
the one the Philadelphia
Flower Show made.
108
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,509
- Cover me, Barb.
- Oh, all right.
109
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,162
So it's this classroom, and
it's all made out of flowers.
110
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:12,513
Janine,
we are only here to show face
111
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:14,906
so that people
remember they saw us.
112
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,734
Then we kick it
into spa mode.
113
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,562
And my spa mode's happening
à la mode,
114
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,651
'cause I'm gonna eat
ice cream in the hot tub.
115
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:21,739
Come on, let's go.
116
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:23,611
Ooh.
This seminar sounds awesome.
117
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,830
It's called "White Teacher,
Black School."
118
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,571
Uh, yeah,
I'm good on that.
119
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,878
I already did four years
of Black Student, White School.
120
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,401
Went to Penn, so...
121
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:34,926
Okay, well, I will go to, uh,
WTBS alone.
122
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:38,408
I, Melissa Schemmenti
of Abbott Elementary,
123
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:41,411
am enjoying
connecting with my peers.
124
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,022
Including this guy, Derrick,
125
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:46,808
from some other school
in Philadelphia.
126
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,505
And I, Barbara Howard,
127
00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:51,595
have already mentored
seven young teachers.
128
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:53,815
Huzzah!
Let's go.
129
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,295
Mm-hmm.
130
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,298
You leaving already?
Just like your ex-husband?
131
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:02,084
Late? Just like your period
after senior prom?
132
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,694
Enjoy your weekend.
133
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,914
Yeah.
134
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,742
Oh, hey.
135
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:10,135
Good to see you again, Bilbo.
136
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:12,312
Glad you made it
out of The Shire.
137
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,969
Ahh! New tote alert!
138
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,667
This weekend
couldn't get any better.
139
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,059
It's like I'm at Disneyland,
140
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:23,018
but there's no Wild Mr. Toad
to avoid,
141
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,672
and I had to bring
my own churro.
142
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:27,065
But-- Wait, did you know you go
to hell on that ride?
143
00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:28,328
I'm a problem solver.
144
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,591
So, say you have
a problem teacher.
145
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:33,507
For our discussion,
let's call her Janina.
146
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:36,248
These Janinas usually have
bubbly personalities
147
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:39,382
that cover up
deep-seated mommy issues.
148
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:43,604
Last name Eddie.
E-D-D-I-E.
149
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,214
Gregory!
150
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:47,564
Hey!
What are you doing here?
151
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,914
What happened to your romantic
Poconos weekend getaway?
152
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,699
Well, I decided this conference
was too important to miss,
153
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:54,179
so I'm here.
Oh!
154
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:56,094
Well, not to "Poco my nose"
in your business,
155
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,313
but where's Amber?
156
00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:59,271
I really don't know.
157
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,971
Do you-- Do you need-- You
want me to help you find her?
158
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,364
No, no, no.
159
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,890
- She dumped me.
- Damn!
160
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:13,242
Room 243.
Enjoy your stay.
161
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,639
I am so sorry about
your breakup, but...
162
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,945
But, hey,
you're amongst friends,
163
00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:22,338
um, so let's hit
some lectures, right?
164
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:23,861
To keep
your mind occupied?
165
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,167
Now,
you've already missed
166
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,908
"Individualized
Education Plans,"
167
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,910
but I can catch you up
between "Brain Teaser Lunch"
168
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,564
and "Designing
a Better Curriculum."
169
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,827
And I don't wanna fly
too close to the sun here,
170
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:35,960
but if we hustle, we can make it
to the creativity seminar.
171
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,049
Although we'd have to be
creative about it, you know?
172
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:41,052
So... Hey-oh!
It's a joke.
173
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,054
Unless that sounds like
too much, which...
174
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,579
No, this is great.
It will be good to be busy.
175
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:48,277
Right? Yeah, exactly, your
favorite way to decompress.
176
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,409
Yeah.
Okay.
177
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,761
That was amazing. Yeah.
178
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:56,285
Your questions were honestly
so insightful.
179
00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:57,939
Okay,
but your follow-ups?
180
00:06:57,939 --> 00:07:00,637
Talk about piggybacking
in the right way.
181
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,900
And that speaker.
Just incredible.
182
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,467
Yeah. Have you listened
to her podcast,
183
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,991
"White Tears, White Noise:
How Uganda Saved White Me"?
184
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:09,429
- Uh, no.
- Ooh, you gotta check it out.
185
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,692
There's only one season,
40 eps, no guests.
186
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,433
I'm literally gonna check
that out immediately.
187
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,999
I'm Jacob, by the way.
188
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,654
Your Ally McBeal story
broke me.
189
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,090
Thank you.
I'm Summer,
190
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,571
and I'm literally obsessed
with you tip to tail.
191
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:24,879
Hey, shot in the dark,
do you know the game Werewolf?
192
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,621
Yes. What?
I-I love werewolf.
193
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,274
My theatre troupe called me
Steppen Werewolf.
194
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,102
Okay, you should come
to our shindig tonight.
195
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,582
Oh, you're not going to
PECSA-Geddon?
196
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,366
That party gets
a little loud.
197
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,585
The young teachers
from Addington
198
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:36,804
are gonna have our own, instead.
199
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,196
- Oh, you work at Addington?
- Mm-hmm.
200
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,764
Oh. Well, thank you
for the 'vite,
201
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,766
but I'm supposed to hang
with my Abbott peeps.
202
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,594
We also brought
Cards Against Humanity.
203
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:45,987
Do you have any
expansion packs?
204
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,902
Does the farmer's market
have fresh bread?
205
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,077
You bet we do.
206
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:55,475
45 minutes till the party.
46 minutes till I am the party.
207
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:59,391
Just enough time to shower
and raid the minibar.
208
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,002
Long live
PECSA weekend.
209
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,133
Yeah.
210
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:08,139
♪ This is how we do it ♪
211
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,141
♪ La, la-la-laaa, la-la-laaa ♪
212
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,882
Wow, Melissa and Barbara
were right.
213
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:13,623
PECSA-Geddon is lit.
214
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,801
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
215
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,542
Just thinking about how I could
be tree-venturing
216
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:20,804
in a sugar maple
right now.
217
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,285
- Oh, that sounds fun!
- Yeah.
218
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:27,463
But this is also fun
and not sad, so...
219
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:28,812
Yay!
Oh, Ava.
220
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,379
Hey, Ava.
Uh!
221
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,946
Where you think you're going,
Janet Whack-son?
222
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:34,078
This rope is velvet.
223
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,645
What, you think 'cause you got
new little boots on,
224
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,995
- you can come in here?
- Okay, I just thought that--
225
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,649
Read the sign. VIP.
226
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,173
Very Important People
who are Principals only.
227
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,785
Limited exceptions.
Gregory, you may enter.
228
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,874
Why didn't you just say
"Very Important Principals"?
229
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,615
That's actually a good idea.
I'm glad I thought of it.
230
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,530
- Gregory.
- I'm gonna go get
a "Gin and Phonics."
231
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,835
- You want one?
- Yes.
232
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,098
I'm going to get
a "Daiqui-reads."
233
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:56,013
I'll take a carafe of
"Sex Ed on the Beach."
234
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,319
Thanks, Gregory.
235
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,845
Nothing and nothing...
236
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,630
There's our people.
237
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,370
Oh, how about
if we just go get
238
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,155
some lounge chairs
from the pool area
239
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:09,026
and bring them in here?
No.
240
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,898
Maybe two people
getting up here at all?
241
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,160
No.
Hey, getting up?
Nope? All right.
242
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,857
Hey, ladies,
you looking for a seat?
243
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,032
There's two open
over here.
244
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:16,294
- Oh!
- Oh, what about...
245
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:17,731
Oh, they've long gone.
246
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:22,518
You know, floating in a pool
of lectures
247
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:25,303
all day long
can really take it out of you.
248
00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:26,609
Oh, I'll bet.
What schools are you with?
249
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,480
Who's askin'?
250
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,395
We both teach
at Abbott Elementary.
251
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:32,310
- How about you?
- I'm here as a vendor.
252
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,051
I own
Nichols School Supplies.
253
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,359
You're Dawn Nichols?
254
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:38,665
All day, every day.
255
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:39,970
Ooh.
256
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:41,798
Dawn Nichols
is the end-all be-all
257
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,757
in the school supply game.
258
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:49,240
An in with her could be
the dawn of a new day at Abbott.
259
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,895
I've had two plus one
"math-a-ritas."
260
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,551
I don't know what you put
in those erasers,
261
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,335
but they are
practically Wite-Out.
262
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,598
Family secret.
263
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,295
And your craft glue's
so strong,
264
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,427
you'd swear it was
mostly horse parts.
265
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,951
Kristin Marie:
I got our drinks.
266
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,039
Ah.
267
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,303
Well, well, well.
268
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,610
This table's taken.
269
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,698
Yeah, but would you--
270
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,047
It's taken, Barb.
271
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:15,919
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
272
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,269
I really thought
the "Rules of Science Are Meant
273
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:20,489
To Be Followed" lecture
would have cheered you up.
274
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,447
- It definitely helped.
- Yeah?
275
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,145
You still thinking
about the breakup?
276
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,189
Well, it did
happen yesterday.
277
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,626
Yeah.
278
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,105
But to be completely honest
with you,
279
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:30,107
it's not even that. Mm.
280
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,979
Why am I always the one
who gets dumped?
281
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:33,894
You know?
Like, based on the evidence,
282
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,983
- it's gotta be me, right?
- Mnh-mnh.
283
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,550
It is not you,
it's dating.
284
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,378
The only silver lining
to dating
285
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:44,078
is you only have to be
right about someone once.
286
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:45,993
That kind of makes it feel
not as bad.
287
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:48,212
- That's a good perspective.
- Thank you.
288
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,432
I'm both smart and wise,
it's wild.
289
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,960
Me and Amber were
super different anyway.
290
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,527
Yeah.
Like, too different.
291
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,137
Yeah.
Like, I always felt like
a weirdo around her.
292
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:02,574
Pss-pss, you are a weirdo.
293
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,576
- That's an upsetting turn.
- Another?
294
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,753
No, I mean that
in a good way.
295
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:09,146
I think that everyone deserves
to be with someone
296
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,453
who likes them
exactly as is.
297
00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:12,802
Especially you.
298
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,456
Seriously.
299
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:17,241
Look at that sweater
right now.
300
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,590
Look at that mustache.
301
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:20,984
Not many people
could do that.
302
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,377
Don't sleep on Janine, either.
303
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:25,032
- Hell y-- Heck yes!
- Yeah. Hell yeah.
304
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,600
Oh, wait, uh, we...
305
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,168
At the end of the day,
306
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:34,171
we are still playing
Werewolf in America,
307
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:36,696
with its injustice system.
308
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:40,177
And while I don't believe
in the death penalty IRL,
309
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,918
in our fictional village,
310
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:45,095
Ms. Tina Schwartz is a werewolf
and she must die!
311
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,575
Nuh-unh!
312
00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:49,012
That Jacob Hill
is one smart detective.
313
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:51,536
He's-- But he's won, like,
three rounds already,
314
00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,887
and I don't know
how I keep losing.
315
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,497
Well, at the risk
of sounding cocky,
316
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,847
I daresay I am better than
I was in my Oberlin days.
317
00:11:57,847 --> 00:12:00,023
What the what?
You went to Oberlin, too?
318
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,590
How did we not know
each other?
319
00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,113
Well, I did make
a concerted effort
320
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,724
to build relationships
with people from...
321
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,335
Different
cultural backgrounds!
322
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:08,597
Floor nap!
323
00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:09,859
Oh.
324
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:13,950
Oh, it's so original.
325
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,822
He likes it.
326
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,867
Oh, wait.
Oh, goodie,
another silly one.
327
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:18,999
What do--
What do you have?
328
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:20,565
Yeah, just more of that.
Bow!
329
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,176
Ohhh!
330
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:25,179
Oh, no. Oh, I missed
the Living Classroom.
331
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,484
Living Classroom?
332
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,617
Yes, oh,
the Philadelphia Flower Show,
333
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,837
they made a whole classroom
out of flowers.
334
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,708
Wow,
that sounds amazing.
335
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,710
I know, but we'll
never know now.
336
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,190
Aw, man, I really wanted
to see that.
337
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:38,018
We-- Let's--
Let's go now.
338
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,062
No,
it's definitely closed.
339
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,803
Awesome.
340
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:42,413
- Says who?
- No one's ever done that.
341
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,764
Says the hours on the bo--
342
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,069
Incredible.
343
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,244
You're being mischievous?
344
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,463
Yeah, you see it.
345
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:49,943
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
346
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,683
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, get it, get it, get it.
347
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,642
- No, let's-- Yeah, let's go.
- Get it, get it, get it, yeah.
348
00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:56,079
I say we do
one more lap.
349
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,820
I really wasn't paying attention
last time
350
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,953
'cause I was too distracted
by how much my feet hurt.
351
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,868
I have consulted
with my fibula,
352
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,957
and she is not doing
another lap,
353
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:07,438
and it is time for you to
settle things with your sister.
354
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:11,268
Excuse us, ladies,
do you mind if we rejoin you?
355
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:12,966
Oh, we'd love for you
- to join us.
- Thank you.
356
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,924
Just as soon
as Melissa admits
357
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,839
she makes
a terrible bragioli.
358
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,014
What,
are you kidding me?
359
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,450
I've seen you
put regular bacon
360
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,104
in your carbonara,
ya googootz.
361
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,803
It was a delicious
American fusion dish.
362
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,108
That's a lot of confidence
for someone
363
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,458
wearing last year's
espadrilles.
364
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,938
Hey.
365
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:31,114
Watch where you're going,
clearance section.
366
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:32,724
Excuse me?
367
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,378
Oh, could you not hear me
over your loud-ass outfit?
368
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:37,817
Whoa! You throwing stones
with those extensions?
369
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,731
You look like you get
your hair done at the mall.
370
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:41,646
- In the parking lot.
- You show your hairdresser
371
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,823
a picture of Beetlejuice
and go, "Do that"?
372
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,955
Yeah, h-how many black eyes
did Beetlejuice have again?
373
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,565
Was it one or two?
I forget.
374
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:49,524
Let's say two.
Let's say two.
375
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:52,614
We still got it.
376
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,268
Yeah, we do.
377
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,878
So...
Mm.
378
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:58,011
What about your
crayon selection?
Mm!
379
00:13:58,011 --> 00:14:00,143
- Oop. There you go.
- Oh, good call on checking
the doorknob.
380
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,450
- That was smart.
- Yeah, I don't know why
your first instinct
381
00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:04,278
was to kick the door in.
382
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:12,677
Oh, my goodness.
383
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:15,811
This is even better
than I imagined.
384
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,205
Oh, my God,
look at this.
385
00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:20,772
The backpacks
are little terrariums.
386
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:23,297
Yeah, I'm seeing it.
How did they do that?
387
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,691
I don't know.
That's so cool.
388
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:30,521
I don't wanna sound cheesy
or whatever, but this--
389
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:33,089
It shows, like, exactly
how I feel about teaching,
390
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,178
with the growth and every--
It's just--
391
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:36,397
It's corny, but...
392
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:41,532
Yeah.
I get it.
393
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:44,535
Plants and teaching,
it's...
394
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:47,756
it's like how I grew up
and who I am now.
395
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:54,850
Yeah.
396
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,952
Oh, my goodness.
You have to come smell this one.
397
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,736
It smells like a perfume
or something.
398
00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:13,390
Yeah.
399
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,566
- Oh.
- Want me to turn it off now?
400
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:16,959
Oh!
Oh, I hear someone.
401
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,526
Uh--Wait, get down. Get down.
402
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,227
Oh, but no, really, you should
smell this one.
403
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:26,621
It smells so good. Mm.
404
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:03,963
Oh, no.
405
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,009
That?
That-- That-- "The Kiss"?
406
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,055
That-- That was a "whoops."
407
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,795
Who can really say
what things are?
408
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:14,408
Or what they aren't, you know,
at the end of the day?
409
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:15,626
We got caught up in the moment.
410
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,150
That's what she said about it?
411
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,065
Just two friends getting
caught up in the moment?
412
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,067
Good. Because that's precisely
what it was.
413
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:24,940
Just two friends getting
caught up in the moment.
414
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,898
It's okay. Mm.
415
00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,552
It's okay.
416
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,119
Like, when I hang up
with my Internet provider
417
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,252
after they finish helping me
reset my Internet,
418
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,471
and I say "Okay,
I love you, bye,"
419
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,647
do I really love
my Internet provider?
420
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,780
No. 'Cause their network's
unreliable,
421
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:41,000
and I'm dating Maurice, so...
422
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,481
Five seconds.
423
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:49,617
Kamala Harris!
424
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,923
How did you get that
so fast?!
425
00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:54,013
She's an AKA!
Alpha Kappa Alpha!
426
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,231
Should you maybe come
and teach with us
427
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,016
at Addington, like, yesterday?
428
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,889
Look, I have had a blasty-blast,
but I'm an Abbott boy.
429
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,543
But imagine teaching
at a school
430
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,371
with the brightest kids
from the neighborhood.
431
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,025
And a bunch of other
neighborhoods, too.
432
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,244
The cream of the crop
from all over the city,
433
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,463
they come to us.
434
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,942
Wait,
but there can't be room
435
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,422
for all the neighborhood kids
at Addington
436
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,163
if you're accepting people
from other places.
437
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:15,556
Well, we're all about focusing
on the kids
438
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:16,818
who have the best chance
of making it out.
439
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,820
Out? Out of what?
440
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,822
And into whom?
I don't know.
441
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,389
But someone hold my legs,
442
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,434
'cause I'm about to do
a boxed wine keg stand.
443
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:25,783
Seems dangerous.
444
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,611
It's only dangerous
if you drop me.
445
00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:33,443
Oh, g--
446
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:36,490
Last night,
as the kids would say,
447
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,753
- was a film.
- Mm.
448
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,668
I don't know
what that means,
449
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:43,149
but it sounds like
an accurate description.
450
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,716
Well, I don't remember
much of anything after someone
451
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:49,155
challenged me to a math-a-rita
chugging competition.
452
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,200
Undefeated, Derrick!
453
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,161
Can't forget the best part
of the night, though.
454
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,076
Oh, making up
with your sister?
455
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,817
Hell no. When you got the in
with Dawn Nichols.
456
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:03,343
May our glue-sticks
never run dry.
457
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,475
Amen!
Hallelujah.
458
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,217
What?
459
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,786
I forgot to put
my shoes on.
460
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,309
Okay.
Where are my shoes?
461
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:14,615
There in my--
My shoes.
462
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,399
I've got my key in my bag,
I think.
463
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:18,445
Janine!
464
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,360
Hey!
Where ya been?
465
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,709
Missed ya at the party
last night.
466
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,232
It's a long story.
467
00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:24,886
Let's just say
I played some games
468
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,279
with some people
from Addington,
469
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,542
and it turns out
I don't know if I like them.
470
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:29,760
Hmm.
471
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:30,761
I guess
that's the whole story.
472
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,285
How was your night?
473
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,765
Um, you know what?
Let's just get in the car.
474
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:36,506
Hope you enjoyed
your stay.
475
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:39,118
We itemized your charges over
the weekend for your review.
476
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,468
Everything look correct
for you, Ms...
477
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,513
Teagues?
478
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:45,341
Gee, golly, it sure does.
479
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:52,609
Act natural.
480
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,220
Why are you dressed
like Inspector Gadget?
481
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,482
I am not.
482
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,048
If anything,
I'm Carmen Sandiego,
483
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,442
and like her,
I am not here.
484
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,401
I heard some stuff
at the conference this weekend.
485
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,272
I didn't take that comforter,
it fell into my bag.
486
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:06,841
No. Draemond Winding,
Legendary Charter jabroni,
487
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:08,930
is coming for Abbott.
488
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,584
Wha--
Who told you this?
489
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,195
It's PECSA weekend,
people talk.
490
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,675
He's set on turning
youse guys' charter.
491
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,242
Pssh. I've been looking for
a good fight
492
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:18,287
ever since
my exterminator died.
493
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,985
- I'm ready.
- Yeah, you better be.
494
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:25,033
If Abbott goes charter,
none of your jobs are safe.
495
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:27,035
Nobody could know
I was here.
496
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,950
- Okay.
- Hey,
Kristin Marie Schemmenti?
497
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:32,345
Hey! What's up?
498
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,129
You know, I never realized
how beautiful your name was.
499
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,652
Kristin Marie Schemmenti.
500
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,306
Kristin Marie Schemmenti!
501
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,443
Yeah, she's great.
502
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,096
Bye, Kristin!
503
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,017
Hey.
You going that way?
504
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:54,715
Yeah.
Okay.
505
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:00,068
So, moving forward...
506
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,548
That's
my favorite direction.[ Chuckles ] Right.
507
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:03,027
We're good, right?
508
00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:05,856
Like, whatever happened,
that was a nothing thing.
509
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:07,423
Yeah, it's best
to just throw it out.
510
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,598
That's what I was gonna say,
just throw it out.
511
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,078
Yeah.
Yep.
512
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,166
I blame the Philly Flower Show, really.
513
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:12,689
And the drinks.
And Allentown.
514
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:13,777
Sexy place.
515
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,302
PECSA weekend. Crazy.
516
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,173
Right?
517
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:19,653
So, right...
518
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,089
So, um...
519
00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:22,525
- We're just throwing it out?
- Throw it out.
520
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,745
Pssh.
Nothing but net.
521
00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:26,181
All right.
522
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,234
Yeah, we'll just throw it out.
523
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,800
It was nothin'.
524
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:43,764
So this weekend was juicy.
That's right.
525
00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:45,548
- I got the tea and the cup.
- Ooh.
Mm.
526
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,376
So I heard about a very
interesting hookup this weekend
527
00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:49,857
involving someone
in this very room.
528
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,728
Someone that's a man.
529
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,469
Involving a woman...
530
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:54,818
Teacher.
531
00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:56,037
I heard someone made out.
532
00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:00,520
With Ms. Schwartz?
Jacob, time to step up.
533
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,435
Uh, wildly inaccurate,
534
00:21:02,435 --> 00:21:04,828
and I feel compelled
to remind you that I am gay.
535
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:07,266
That is bisexual erasure.
I expected better from you.
536
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,485
And my intel specifically stated
that she made out
537
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,052
with some pasty
white nerd.
538
00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:12,662
If not you, then who?
539
00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:16,579
Okay, bye.
540
00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:17,798
Uh...
541
00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:22,281
PECSA, PECSA, PECSA.
542
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,326
Gets me every time.